Mick Jagger

The Rolling Stones made their U.S. television debut on The Ed Sullivan Show in late 1964. Nearly a half-century later, Mick Jagger was again in the Ed Sullivan Theatre, presenting the Top 10 list for last night’s episode of the Late Show with David Letterman. The topic? “Top Ten Things I, Mick Jagger, Have Learned After 50 Years in Rock ‘n’ Roll.” As you can see from the list below, serving as frontman for the Stones has been an edifying experience for the legendary singer.

10. “Nobody wants to hear anything from your new album.”

9. “Never take relationship advice from Phil Spector.”

8. “Before shouting ‘Hi Seattle!’ make sure you’re in Seattle.”

7. “You don’t earn a cent when someone does a song about having moves like Jagger.”

6. “Everybody you meet after you become famous is only interested in you as a person.”

5. “Song royalties are great, but even they can’t match the guaranteed cash flow of a reverse mortgage.”

4. “A good way to keep yourself entertained is to sign every 10th autograph ‘Doris Goldblatt.’”

3. “Be considerate of other hotel guests — trash your room by 10 p.m.”

2. “You can’t always get what you want — like a good joke on the top ten list.”

1. “You start out playing rock ‘n’ roll so you can have sex and do drugs. But you end up doing drugs so you can still play rock ‘n’ roll and have sex.”