There are many reasons certain situations seem to exclude you, and when people seemingly ignore you by not inviting you to play at certain occasions, but the most prevailing one seems to simply be that they are intimidated by you! Jealousy is a very primeval and deeply-rooted emotion, and it can really run people’s lives when it comes to dealing with others in their same profession.
I know I’ve come across this countless times during my life and career, and since I never feel this way about others and am so trusting, it never really occurs to me until it’s too late. But nevertheless it is true that many people will have an underlying jealousy and intimidation factor towards you, and this can often translate into less work and less exposure, which is just what they want to happen to you!
On a really large scale this happened to me in the making of the film “Crossroads”, where my credits were taken away and someone else took the credit for everything I played and everything I wrote, as if I wasn’t even there! They tried to erase my 7 months of work on that project as if it never happened, and of course, not only took credit for MY work, but also were quite effective in making sure I didn’t get any more movie work like this. Why? Because they were simply intimidated by my abilities, and were trying to protect their own movie soundtrack career!
By the same token, you have to be careful not to have this feeling towards others also, as it can be a very hurtful thing to do to anyone else, and can create a lot of problems personally, between you and other musicians. These kinds of things can come back to hurt you later on, and in a world where “what goes around, comes around” we certainly don’t need any more pain than we already must bear. It’s so much better and healthier to be accepting of others, and to learn from what they do rather than to be intimidated by them. After all, you must always accept that no matter what, there’ll always be someone better than you, as everyone is totally different. It’s so much better to try to learn from those who we feel rather intimidated by, and in this way, you’ll be playing on a par with those folks before you even know it!
That’s how I did it, and I also equate it to sports, as in the way I always tried to play tennis against better rivals that me…it always kept me improving and forced me to step up my game. Always set higher and higher goals for yourself, and let that “intimidation” factor always play to your advantage and to your benefit! You will amaze yourself with the results, and how good you’ll feel!